I started this site as a means to get out the demons in my head.

I also started it as a means to have other people understand the hell that I am going through, or that I have put myself through.

I wanted to be a spokesperson for mental health. POSITIVE mental health. That even in the darkest of times, there is a way out if you have the means for it. I also wanted to be an extra ear for those people who needed to talk.

I would say I accomplished that, and in a small way I did, but not to the extent I wanted to.

I also wanted to throw people under the bus for what has happened to me and how I got to be the messed up person I am sitting before you this early morning, but I can’t. There would be some people hurt, embarrassed, or not even care.

What is important is that I need to move on. I need to stop using this as a place to complain about life, and find something more meaningful to write about.

I’m not writing a book (at least not yet), and I am trying to startup to websites that I have put off for various reasons. And, I am trying to get over my “scars” and try to find some work. I have placed a total of five applications, never heard back from two, was contacted by one and cancelled it because it was not a good fit for me, cancelled another one because it would cause me to be away from my family, and I can’t do that right now. So, I am going to contact this last job and find out if they have received my resume and application and try for an interview.

But, this site, which did help to have people understand me better, and allow me to understand me better, will close its doors. No one will be reading this until much later because of some Internet issue that I will have to figure out, but, yeah, it is time to close this book and start a new chapter.

You guys that have supported me have been great, even if I eventually was not back. I wish I could make some of you understand, but honestly, it is just best if I let it go.

“Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!”

Jim carrey, “The truman Show” (1998)