This is a story all ’bout how my life got twisted upside down… Will Smith, from ”The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”
Now that I got that stuck in your head, I’ll continue.
But, before I start, did you know Steve Winwood wrote the song ”Blind Faith” that appeared in 1989’s ”Masters of the Universe” movie? Man, that movie sucked.
(Note to self: ”Watch ’Masters of the Universe’ this weekend.”)
Anyway, this is how I came from having a psychotic break, to have the best time of my life, at least for the moment.
Always the pessimist.
I’m sitting here at lunch, going over in my head my last physical. Just like everyone else my age, we have to have blood work. I waited a short amount of time before the nurse called me on the phone with my results. It turns out that A) my glucose level was more elevated than in the past labs, and B) my liver enzymes were high.
Fuck. Welcome “prediabetes.” Again.
Those of you that follow me on Facebook have seen my tattoos, and each one tells a different story. My “live life” on my wrists is to remind me that there is always another way than committing suicide, my “Quoth the Raven ‘Nevermore'” is an homage of my love of Edgar Allan Poe, plus a reminder of a time when my mom and I would watch old Hammer horror films starring Vincent Price, Basil Rathbone, and Peter Cushing. My symbol on my right arm is a symbol that I have drawn and altered for 28 years, almost like a signature in symbolic form, not unlike the artist Prince went by a symbol at one time to rebel against his record label at the time and finally be his “own” entity. Now, on my writing hand, covering my finger and thumb that I clutch my favorite writing instrument, I got the tattoo, “write with might” to remind me to write with feeling, with emotion, with all the power I can muster and make something that each time I’m proud of, not just something that should be thrown in the trash because it’s another rehash of something that someone did better.
A little extreme? Maybe. But, once again, it means something to me, and it’s another conversation starter that lets others into my world, one more ink at a time.
Sometimes you just need to get your shit together and figure out your life, and how it’s affecting you.
This was one of those times.
I was a sophomore in high school. I had very little friends, and those that I did have were either in theater productions that I participated in, or at my church group that I attended every Sunday evening. I just wanted to be accepted. I was tired of always feeling like a loser. At that time, being a geek or a nerd was not a good thing. In fact, it was thought of as a bad word.
I just recently saw that Cartoon Network was going to revive the famous ’80s cartoon, “Thundercats”, which they have already done once before in 2011, and failed.
This time around, however, they are going to add some humor and a loose drawing style and maybe add some action here and there. You know, what the kids like nowadays!
I want to talk about “bullying”.
Yes, we all know it is wrong, and nowadays we are trying to make sure that our generation of children live in a “bully-free” world, but, I’m here to tell you the truth — it’s not working.
Or, maybe the concept of “wanting” to keep reading is hard.
So, I’ve been seeing a new person for my psychological medications. The person, in question, is not a doctor, but a nurse practitioner, and genuinely cares about my mental well being than my last psychiatrist did. She has been trying to get me off certain medications that might actually have been doing more harm than good, and also trying to lower doses and find alternatives to some of the medications that I was currently taking.
So far, I like this. A lot.
My last psychiatrist did not seem to pay attention to my needs, and didn’t care about his patients. At least, that’s how it appeared to me.
The other thing I like, is that, as I said before, she is looking for alternatives to medications to help me. And, that is what I want to talk about.