I Fart Online

Real Farts from an Old Fart

Category: meditation

I stopped on purpose.

So, I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been in a slump, I don’t have the overpowering “writer’s block”, I haven’t had anything to stop me, except for two things.

I’m wanting to write for the wrong reasons. I want to be famous and I want to make money.

Those are the wrong reasons to do something that I have been told by many of you that read my blog that I am good at.

I shouldn’t be attempting to make the next “Moby Dick” and selling it because I want money. I should be writing what I want because I want to.

I had started to write a memoir. I have a lot of baggage and I thought getting it out would be the most cathartic thing for me to do. But, if I did that, I would be throwing people under the bus left and right that has either worked hard to change, have matured over time or have had enough heartache of their own. I can’t do that to them. It wouldn’t be fair.

I could write about mental health, but there are a ton of books out there that people are releasing every day, whether it be self-help or autobiographies. I don’t want to travel with a crowd that I remind myself every day that I am a part of.

My wife thinks I should write horror. The ideas I’ve posed to her have at times been disturbing, graphics, or macabre. I also have the side of me that wants to write comics. I love superheroes, and I hope in novel form, or even short story form, that the genre isn’t over saturated.

I can honestly say that when I have gone to Half Price Books, they have not had a lot of superhero or comic related novels on the general fiction shelves. I remember seeing Spidey, X-Men, some movie novelizations, but not much anything else.

I also love the Saturday Morning cartoons of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Also, I watched a lot of Cartoon Network before everything started going streaming. I’m a powerhouse of information when it comes to cartoons and DC Comics before they changed the line for a newer demographic.

I’ve been reading an overabundance of ebooks lately on my Kindle. I am taking a break, and I’m going to read a reference book on SF writing by one of my favorite authors, Ben Bova.

Maybe, with his help, I can find my calling there.

At least I’m writing again.

“Sound drowning.”

As I listen to jazz music — that’s right! Jazz music. Miles Davis. John Coltrane. The Bad Plus. Jamie Cullum. The driving force behind my comfort zone. My creativity jumps off each tempo. Each staccato of notes flowing in the air like mad butterflies scared off by an inquisitive “pooch”. A “mad hatter” of melodies that only stop when the instrument says “stop.”

Yeah. That’s what I listen to. Continue reading

When you realize your a writer…

One credit.

As I sit here this early morning, I listen to clip after clip of audiobooks–all that I have placed into a ”wish list” of sorts–trying to decide what the best option is for me. Continue reading

Day 5 – Integrating the apps back to the home screen.

The more the week passed, the more certain apps were needing my attention. I had notifications from family and acquaintances on Facebook Messenger, I had numerous times that I had to access the Internet from an email, and a few other things. I decided to cut the week short by a few days, and moved apps back to the main screen under a few conditions.

Only move the apps that I have paid for, and only move the apps that I use.

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Starting from scratch, Day 3.

1:58 pm: My current home screen has changed a few times. I realized that because of certain functions of the Fitbit Versa, I was going to need to be able to access the applications. The Bluetooth was not working at all, and it was extremely difficult to sync the watch to the Fitbit online dashboard that I finally had to call “uncle” and move the apps back to the home screen.

This made me wonder. What ESSENTIAL apps do I need on a daily basis at the moment to manuever efficiently and effectively? I came to the conclusion that I would need:

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Starting from scratch, Day 2 (cont.)

Or, “What do I have to work with today?”

Upon waking up this morning, which is usually around 3-5:00 am, I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight on the phone, get on some comfy clothes, and make coffee.

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“21. Say Goodbye To Who You Used To Be.”

Wow. That is a hard one.

I have a hard enough time of doing that with my mental illness that doing that to get closer to a minimalistic lifestyle makes it ten times worse.

I’m not saying it isn’t impossible, but lately, I’ve been struggling, and trying to better myself at the same time is even more straining on the mind than I anticipated.

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“It’s all so quiet. Shhh! Shh!”

The above is a quote from Bjork’s song “It’s All So Quiet.” It’s like a big Broadway number, which is one of the few times that she does a song like that. I think the other time she did anything like that was for the album “Gling Glo”.

I apologize to Bjork if I screwed up the name of the album. Not that she reads my blog, but if she did, I sincerely apologize.

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